There has always been a nagging question in one of my favorite chapters of Scripture.  I’ve always said the 19’s are just so good.  Revelation 19 gives us a vision of God the Son.  I Kings 19 reveals God the Holy Spirit.  And then there’s Exodus.  Exodus 19 gives us a glimpse of God the Father.

But within Exodus 19 there is an exchange that has never made sense to me.  Until last week.

And the Lord said to Moses, “Go to the people and consecrate them today and tomorrow…Put limits for the people around the mountain and tell them, ‘Be careful that you do not approach the mountain or touch the foot of it.'”   

The Lord descended to the top of Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain.  So Moses went up and the Lord said to him, “Go down and warn the people so they do not force their way through to see the Lord and many of them perish….”  Moses said to the Lord, “The people cannot come up Mount Sinai, because you yourself warned us, ‘Put limits around the mountain and set it apart as holy.'”     Exodus 19:10-12, 20-23

Our God has a short memory only for our sin, not for commands He gave ten minutes earlier.  The conversation between Moses and God is inexplicable to me.  Why does God repeat Himself?  And what He repeats is something that proved to not need to be said even once.  The people were terrified.  They didn’t try to come toward the mountain, they tried to get away.  They ended up pleading with Moses to be their go-between as they feared the Lord too much to be so near to Him.  And yet God, in all his might and wisdom, had Moses climb up and down that mountain to tell them not to come rushing toward Him?

Last Sunday our chapel choir sang the song Only God.  It was breathtaking.  As I listened to the words of awe and adoration I began to see with sad clarity why God’s concern was blatantly evidenced and why it had previously been so hard for me to understand.

As the choir sang, I was given an inkling of how truly amazing our God is, how awe-inspiring and majestic.  There is a draw in each of us toward that which is beautiful and alluring.  In that reverential moment, He was the most beautiful and alluring thing I’d ever witnessed.  He was irresistible.

It’s like a kid and candy or a jewel thief and a diamond store.  Some things so attract us that we simply cannot stay away, like the forbidden love of a teenager or the draw of the perfect car, house, or necklace…we just have to have it and will work our hands to the bone to get it.

God is it.  He is the One thing that we would give everything to have. He’s the pearl of infinite price, the prize worth striving after.  If we ever see Him in all His fullness, allow ourselves as we have been allowed to come into His throne room and gaze upon His glory, He will become that one thing we would do anything to have.  

God knows that this is true.  Thus the boundaries on Mount Sinai.  He knew that if the Hebrews really saw Him for what He is, they would take off running to His Presence and not care what it cost or where it left them!  He knew that if even one of them quieted their anxious and temporal minds, they would see the majesty of what was before them and abandon all logic, control, and self-restraint to be nearer the One who showed up in such glory!

That’s the God we serve.  One who is alluring and beautiful, powerful and enticing, majestic and all-encompassing, able to enthrall us to the exclusion of any other desire, longing, or need.

There is, however, the sad part.  No one did.  No one ran up to the mountain.  No one gazed in desire and delight at the mighty One before them.  

That same God is still on His throne. Which way am I running today? All boundaries have been removed.  Access has been eternally granted.  And the greatest prize, the most amazing spectacle I might ever witness sits enthroned between the cherubim awaiting the audience that takes the time to gaze upon His great glory.

Both of my parents are really good with plants.

The apple fell far–very, very far–from the tree.

I kill everything. Including the plants that are said to be unkillable, like succulents.  They may be able to live in the harsh desert, but under my care is far more frightening a prospect.

I received a set of four succulents in a shared pot for Christmas last year (that’s 2017!) that I am proud to say are almost all almost alive.  I’ll let you be the judge.

Here’s the thing about this particular plant.  To the right of this picture is a bank of windows that stream in sunlight all day.  Directly above the plant is a light that stays on for hours each day and night.

Let’s look at each of the two little (sad!) plant parts in turn.  The first looks like it attempted to go upward toward the lightbulb above but after a while it gave up and just flopped over, straight down.  It actually still has quite a few signs of life to it.  The overarching picture, however, is not one of good health. The second headed for the door as soon as it broke ground!  It never seemed to be fooled by that artificial light from above.  It wanted the real thing and made a beeline to the window to get it.  

This is not just a picture of plants, but of believers as well.

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.    Philippians 3:14

We have an instinctive draw toward something beyond ourselves, we strive after things, or people, or goals, or whatever.  We set our hearts on these things and strain to reach them.  We, like the second plant, should know what to strive after and be unwilling to chase anything lesser.  The Son is all we want, all we need, all we press toward.  

But.  Artificial light can be tricky.  We often misplace the honor of that drawing potential.  We strive after those artificial lights that tempt and lure us.  In the end, just like the first plant, they leave us unhealthy and sometimes we struggle to not give in on the heels of longing and starvation.  Even a plant knows that artificial light isn’t the same.  It may make us feel warm and nurtured for a while, but it doesn’t produce the vitality and life that we seek.  

There are many artificial lights in our world today.  People strive after all manner of artificial satisfiers.  In the end, they will always leave us a bit low and hungry.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.         Colossians 3:1-2

Sonlight is the only light that we are to set our hearts on, press on toward, strain after, strive for.  It is also the only light that leaves us well nourished, fruitful, vital, and healthy. We’ve been called heavenward, let’s strain toward it even now.

One day last week I had one of those days, sandwich days they’re called.  I knew I needed to start it with Jesus on the sidewalk, so I began the day with a run.  It didn’t slow down much from there and I didn’t find the time to change out of my running clothes until late afternoon.  It was one of those days where you pull out a 1980’s typewriter as the only possible solution to a business problem.  Plan’s A and B cave and by the time you get to Plan F even the 80’s have something to offer.

Late that afternoon as I went to shower and change out of those running clothes I discovered that I had been wearing my pants backwards all day.  It was only then that I recalled having noted how odd that they’d put a company logo right there in the front.  

Fast forward just one week.  I took my time getting laundry going and answering emails.  I piddled around the house slowly before getting ready to go for that run.  I was, therefore, a little bit later in running than I might normally be.  Each morning I get the sheer joy of watching 13 geese breakfast on the lawn.  On this particular morning I saw something I had not seen before.  They sat down.  I’d never seen them sitting on the lawn like that.   That’s when it occurred to me: for everything there is a season.  For every season where you’re too slammed to realize your pants are on backwards, there’s a season when you’ve worked over that breakfast long enough to sit and enjoy the morning sun.  

He has made everything beautiful in its time.      Ecclesiastes 3:11

My sandwich day was lovely.  My late run with resting geese?  Lovely.  

There is a season for everything under the sun.  The trick is realizing which season you’re in and calling it beautiful.

In any endeavor, there is His Story and then there are the Side Stories.  When we walk with the Lord and plan our days around His agenda, we jump into His Story.  The greatness and enormity of our God, however, ensures that His story always breeds Side Stories in the lives of those involved.

The goal is His glory.  His Story is all about His glory.  It’s about God being portrayed for all the greatness He is.  That’s what glory means, to accurately reflect the One glorified.  So His Story is all wrapped up in His being known, His being respected, His being exalted, His being revealed for all the wonder that is the I AM.  

He’s the big picture, He’s the main thing.  

The existence of Side Stories, though, creates this pull to give overdue attention to the thing that isn’t the main thing.  We stare too long at the peripheral and the primary falls out of focus.  

If you endeavor to bring God glory, if you attempt to accurately reflect the greatness of God’s Story, there will be countless Side Stories of how that endeavor affected the lives of those who encountered His glory there.  

Take these writings.  I do this because God has told me to.  He’s impressed it on me that one of the tools He has entrusted to me by which I might bring Him glory is through the written word.  So this is about His glory.  But then the Side Stories exist for me and for anyone who might read this.  My own Side Story might include how the study and the writing bring me nearer to Him, how He might enlighten my understanding of myself and others as a result of having thought through something for the purpose of writing on it.  It might include what I want to accomplish and the type of writer I want to become, where this writing moves me and whatever next step it may lead to.  

I pray there are Side Stories beyond this as well.  I pray that mine is not the only Side Story, that there are others who are moved, affected, convicted, blessed, strengthened, encouraged, edified by my having done my part in God’s Story.  

While the me and you of all this can be beautiful and beneficial, it can be purposeful and nurturing, as I pray it is, the main goal–again–is not in the Side Story.  The main goal, the primary focus remains, “Has God been glorified here?”  

If you attempt to do something for the Lord, by His power, and for His glory, the goal must be His glory, His Story.  The Side Stories, mine and others, must be just that, side items, not the main meal.  

For me today, this is huge.  It means that when I gauge the ‘success’ of my offering, the variables aren’t whether or not I ‘did good,’ or whether or not this person showed up or seemed impacted.  It can’t be based on how it looked or was perceived, whether the numbers were right or the dollars met the quota.  It can’t be measured by tangibles on a graph or even emotions in the room.  

There is only one measure of success with His Story:  Has God been glorified here?

No matter what the Side Stories do or do not entail, we rest in the greatness of His Story being accurately portrayed through our offerings.  And leave the rest in His care.

For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.           Colossians 3:3

Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”  God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.  This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.'” God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites,’The Lord, the God of your fathers–the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob–has sent me to you.'”                     Exodus 3: 13-15

Most people when asked who they are use descriptors like ‘I’m so and so’s wife,’ ‘I’m their mom.’ Sometimes we say, ‘I’m an accountant with whatever firm,’ or ‘I’m a doctor with this practice.’ After the I am comes the description.  We can often put into a few short words a pretty complete synopsis of who we are and what our lives make up and are made up of.  

God isn’t like that.  

He is so much there isn’t anything He wouldn’t have to list behind the ‘I am.’ He is infinite and perfect, He is all-knowing and eternal, He is Creator and King, He is, He is, He is.  Those words which might clarify who He is are literally innumerable, there is nothing that ever was or will be that wouldn’t need to be listed.  In an effort to convey this reality to mankind, He came to call Himself the I AM.  No other words needed.

Here’s the humbling part: while He is all that, while there is any title of greatness that He might rightly claim, notice the title He chooses: I AM (which is enough) the God of Abraham.  I AM the God of Jana. I AM the God of Joseph, the God of Kate, the God of you.   

Christ called Himself the Son of Man more than any other name.  Son, capital, all God, Divine.  Man, lowly, subservient, temporal.  

He chooses to give Himself titles that forever hitch His wagon to mine.

This God who needs nothing asks much of me.  This God who has everything wants all of me.  This God who is eternal before me and everlasting beyond chooses to call Himself…

Her Father.  His Counselor.  Their Friend.  

Like a proud parent with countless accolades under his belt showing up at the little league field and introducing himself only as ‘number 4’s dad,’ we see what titles might mean the most to him.  And my God chooses to interweave who He is with who I am in Him.  Amazing.  

I’d think little number 4 might strut along the bases a bit.  I’d think he’d be pretty proud to be that guys son.  I’d think he’d play pretty hard and want to do his best to make that daddy proud.  Love like that will move you.

“I AM __________’s Dad.  She’s the apple of my eye, worth every sacrifice to make her mine.”

A few years ago while traveling on mission in Europe I had the opportunity to visit the orphanage where my friend’s son had been raised.  We were given access where it wasn’t usually granted and allowed a glimpse of what life had been like for their son.  This week I ran across some of my thoughts from that experience.  We’ll call their boy Jack.

“To have been able to see how these children are treated and to know what Jack’s life was like gave me such a wonderful perspective.  I heard stories of other orphanages, of how good this one is. Much like coming to Christ, some lives seem ‘better’ or ‘worse,’ more or less difficult.  For an orphan, Jack had great caretakers who genuinely seemed to care about him.  But nothing beats being part of a family.  God had this wonderful and grand design for him, something better, with greater benefits and hope.  What he had wasn’t half bad.  But what was offered him was priceless.  Often times we meet people whose lives don’t seem half bad.  Often times we ourselves settle for lives that aren’t half bad.  But what God actually has for us is so much more.  He offers us something better and lasting and rooted in Family.”  

We weren’t made for ‘good’ and God’s designs for our lives aren’t just ‘good.’

We were made for lives of resplendent wonder.

We weren’t made to settle for less, but to strive for more.  We weren’t made for mud pies or really good orphanages, we were made for feasts and homes and Family.  That orphanage was a really nice place, but it was no home, it had only a foretaste of family.  And to all who look around their lives and see less than the greatness of belonging, He says, “The Best is better than all the good you’ve ever known. Let’s go home, son.”

We were–every one of us–made for lives of greatness, wonder, belonging.  For most of us, the battle isn’t between being a good person or being a bad one, it is between being a good one and the best one.  Often times we look at our lives, our choices, our families, our marriages, our finances, our relationships and we think it’s all pretty good, not half bad.  I’m ok. We weren’t made for ok.  We were made for greatness and to settle for anything less is to leave priceless blessings on the table of our lives, unopened gifts on the calendar of our days.  

I don’t want ‘a good life’ and that means I can’t make decisions that lead to one. I want the best life God has to offer me and that means I must daily make decisions that lead to it.

May we never settle for mud pies in the slums because we can’t imagine the greatness of a feast by the ocean. (And, yes, that is a rather loose paraphrase from the impeccable C. S. Lewis.)

My husband and I met a man yesterday.  It was late and he was sitting on a bench inside Zaxby’s.  He had a backpack and a hoodie and looked a bit under dressed for the cold outside.  He wasn’t eating, just sitting.  

As my husband was waiting for our food to be ready, the man turned to him and began to ask him a few questions.  The end result was one final question, “Do you mind if I draw your picture?” He didn’t want money and was fine with a “no,” but would it be okay. Certainly.  

After a minute or two my husband got my attention and called me over as well.  This man was incredible.  With barely a look at him, he was drawing a wonderful likeness that was laden with enormous talent.  He drew and we watched and it took less than ten minutes.  When he was done, he signed it, titled it, and said thank you.  I told him what a gift he had and what beautiful work he did and even took their picture together.  He was kind and respectful and demur and immensely talented and had the sweetest countenance about him.  

I haven’t been able to get him off my mind.  I had looked right into his red, tired eyes and seen something unforgettable– indistinct, but unforgettable.

Also yesterday I heard a quote from a well known actress that was so harsh and so hateful and so misguided that I’d had trouble forgetting the hardness of her face as she spewed her cruelty.  To most of the world, she is a beauty.  She has the world’s attention and adoration and when she speaks, even in ignorance and hatred, we often listen.  

This artist could have spoken from that bench for hours without a soul giving heed to his voice.  

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.                            Hebrews 13:2

For Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.                II Corinthians 11:14

To which do we usually defer, the one that looks like a random stranger or the one who glows like an angel of light?

What the world calls common, ordinary, or even refuse, the Lord calls angelic.  And that which our world lauds and panders to is so often the devil in disguise.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”              I Samuel 16:7

With such a high priority today on looking the part, I’d like to request a set of goggles, Lord.  Give me eyes to see that which actually is beautiful and to unmask that which simply appears to be.

My genetic code has some pretty good stuff in it.  We’ve got great metabolism.  We’re pretty smart and without a propensity for cancer.  Good stuff in there.  It’s not all good though. There’s depression and alcoholism.  It’s in the code and something I’m mindful of as I raise my children. They may have predilections, natural leanings that not everyone has to watch out for.  

While I may have a natural bent toward alcoholism, I have never taken that to mean that I am an alcoholic or that I have no choice but to become one.  While my DNA may have the marker, my choices make the distinction.  While there are many aspects of life– from DNA to abuses, sins, and failings– that contribute to the whole picture of who I am, the final distinction lies in the choices I make in light of all those.

I am who God says I am.  Not who I think I am, or who my genes say I am, or who my enemies past and present claim I am, or even who I wish I could be.  I am who He says I am and I will never be truly alive until I take up that mantel and walk in the fullness of it.  Until I make choices that coincide with that identity.

I believe God is calling my son to lead.  He’s a more reserved type.  He is a homebody and only approves of a spotlight when it’s shining onto a basketball court.  He’s not looking to lead.  

Every day we make choices about what we believe and what we will and won’t become.  Every day God presents a mantel, a distinction for us to own and wear.  He says, “I have made you new and this is who you are.”  And we choose each day whether or not we believe Him.  

“You are a leader.”  No, I’m not the right person to lead.  I’m too shy or too quiet, too bumbling or too common.  “You are a mentor.”  I haven’t done nearly enough right to be able to show someone else how to. “You are a teacher, a parent, a role model, an evangelist, a missionary, a prayer warrior, a light on a hill.”

For some the trouble is far more basic.  

But now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation.              Colossians 1:22

You are forgiven.  You are without blemish.  You are free.

You are who He says you are.  Sometimes those things He says are too wonderful to believe, and sometimes they are too daunting.  Sometimes they may seem like they’ll take too much work. And sometimes we may think no amount of work could accomplish it.  

We are a product of our choices, not our DNA or our past, not our tendencies or our sin.  To each on any day God says this is your mantel, this is who you are and what you can become.  What will you choose? Are you prepared to choose it again and again?

Choose you this day whom you will serve.                           Joshua 24:15

Great word.  Have I ever told you about it?  Elpis.  One of my favorites.

Elpis is the Greek word usually translated as hope.  It doesn’t mean hope the way we think of hope, like, “I hope I win the lottery.” It isn’t pipe dreams, penny in a wishing well hope.  It’s assured.

Here’s our problem with hope today: we have either lost sight of that after which we biblically hope or we’ve bought into the lottery version of hope–either we don’t know what to hope for or we don’t hope for it with assurance of obtaining it.  We might, for instance, say that we hope we enter into eternal rest and find we’ve lived a life that warrants Christ’s accolades of us to His Father (but really we doubt it.)  We might say we hope Heaven is all that because, really, who knows and He gives us so little to go on (but secretly we fear it’s all harps and old hymns.)  We might say we have hope that tomorrow–whether spent here or there–will be blessed and better than today because He said so (but honestly we’ve had such a string of lousy days tomorrow looks grim on every front.)  We might say we have a longing hope to see His face (but deep down we’re scared to death He’ll say He never knew us, or worse, say He’s ashamed He does.)  

How much of what we say do we really mean?

And how much of my life affirms that I do indeed mean it?

Elpis is a longing to receive that which I know is coming.  It isn’t a maybe, but an assurance of things yet fully revealed.  It’s as good as done.

It means I believe God really won’t look on me as a criminal awaiting judgment, but rather as a bride approaching her Groom.  

It means Heaven really is that one destination I can hardly contain myself for want of entering into.  

It means I am today the makings of one who can be mighty in the Lord tomorrow.

It means a life of relegating myself to His will today will totally be one worth having lived when my final tomorrow comes.  

Biblical hope says that certain things are true.  Not because I want them to be, not because they appear to be, and not because I say they are.  These things are true because He said so and that makes them as good as done.

My Father’s house has many rooms if it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?                                        John 14:2

He’s been working for nearly 2 God-days on this ‘place.’ Look at what all He did in six God-days!  What’s coming is bound to be good.  

Now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.           Colossians 1: 22

This is who we are in Christ!  We are HOLY, we are FAULTLESS, we are FREE.  This is done and for me to take on chains and shame is for me to fall short of the hope to which I have been called.  

He has made us to be Kings and Priests to serve His God and Father.        Revelation 1:6

We are of royal lineage, possessing all that is ours as heirs of the Kingdom of Light, and we have direct access to the God of all Creation.  We also serve as advocates, mediators bringing man in his sinful state into the presence of the God who redeems.  And it is our duty and privilege to spend our days at His feet and in His service.

We must know the promises He’s made that are as good as done.  And then we must believe that He will see them through to completion–assured belief, certain anticipation. (Philippians 1:6)

If we do not know or we do not find ourselves assured, we would do just as well to roll our pennies and spend our Sunday mornings casting wishes into the fountain.  Know whom you have believed and be persuaded that He is able.

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people, and His incomparably great power for us who believe.                          Ephesians 1:18-19