He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes.  He told me to go to Siloam and wash.  So I went and washed, and then I could see.”                                                  John 9:11

This story, this very verse, is all of life, all of success and beauty laid out for the blind to see. It’s the fitting 911 of life, our cry for help and direction.

This blind beggar may not have liked someone putting mud all over his face.  He had no idea what the man looked like.  He only knew what others had called Him.  He could probably have come up with closer watering spots where he could get cleaned up.  He may have had more efficient ways of bathing.  He may or may not have understood why this Jesus wanted him to go or do or even get himself dirty.

But “He told me to go…so I went…and then I could see.”

Thus is life.

He will tell you where to go.  If we will but follow, even when it gets us muddied up, even when there are more efficient ways of functioning, even when we know little more than His name, even when we wish He’d done things differently, even then, if we go….

I have terrible vision.  I know the value of being able to see because I know the heartache of it’s absence.  When we can physically see, we are more capable of making it to the bathroom without running into things.

When we can spiritually see, we are more capable of making it into eternity without running into things.  The opening chapters of Proverbs regale the benefits of heeding the call of Wisdom.  With wisdom, our vision improves.  We see life more clearly.  We see ourselves more accurately.  We see others more lovingly.  We’re able to find “the good path” (Proverb 2:9) and we’re able to discern those who are “devious in their ways” (Proverb 2:15).

The beginning and the end are so easy to follow.  Yes, the Lord speaks, through His Word and His agents, through the Holy Spirit, in song, in whispers, in perceptions, and in the deep places of our souls. Yes, perfect sight is His to give and desirable to attain.

It’s this part in the middle where so many of us so often get lost.  He tells us to go; go witness, go speak, go serve, go give, go love and hug and nurture and teach.  And we cling to the promise of clear vision, an understanding of our own lives and days.  Somewhere we forget that perfect vision comes through the actions of the middle.  It’s in the ‘so I went.’

Our God is unwavering, as solid a foundation as ever existed.  He is unfathomably Faithful and True.  He will hold up His end of this bargain.  He’ll guide us and He’ll open our eyes to see.  So.

He directs, we follow, and then we can see.  We can see life and love and people and beauty and perspective, all with clarity, grace, peace, and joy.

That God may call and lead daily, that He may grant sight in abundance, let me be one whose ‘so’ is followed with action, love, faithfulness, and abandon.

I grew up in the church.  We were very involved and I knew every familiar story with easy rote.  I was baptized at seven during a week long ‘revival.’

There is a song called No Longer Slaves by Bethel that I am listening to even now.  And the day I ran to Jesus is quite accurately described in this song.

I ‘joined the church’ because it is what kids did.  I didn’t feel His Presence, nor hear His voice.  I walked an aisle and I said what the people needed to hear and I started receiving envelopes with my name on them.  My life and my heart remained unchanged.

Then life got tricky.

To be honest, family life wasn’t easy.  I know as I write this that some of that family will read it. This is my life and my story and the great miracle of God’s work in me.  And it is an incredibly beautiful picture of grace and forgiveness and purpose.

Siblings went off to college, parents went the ways of work and their own difficulties and struggles. And still I sat in an emptying house, needing the arms to wrap me up in security and direction.

I spent most of my tween and teen years in a depressed stupor staring blindly at the brightly optimistic walls of what had been my sister’s room.  I didn’t know it then, but see it so clearly now, I was clinically depressed and each day I sank further into myself and the dark places of lostness of soul.

I went to camp the summer of my thirteenth year.  Christian camp, as all church going teens do.

God was looking for the moment when I was away from the familiarity of my own darkness to bring me the Light.  It didn’t matter what the sermon was about, the man could have been telling us Jesus loved broccoli.  I heard Jesus loved me.

I came home from camp.  That was then, this is now, right. That feeling of purpose was there, but this, this darkness and sadness is my home here.  It was all I knew or knew how to get for myself.  And so I went to my normal spot in the center of the bed in the center of the room so bright and cheerful.  And I began to stare, drifting again.

But this time was different.

Go listen to the song.

I am surrounded by the arms of the Father.  I’ve been liberated.

They were real.  I felt the arms of the Father and they were real and solid and physical.  I was surrounded.  And He spoke purpose to my soul, “We’re not going to do this any more.”

And I never have.

I move in supernatural ways, to near and far places.  I cry for entirely different reasons now.  I rely on the Body, still knowing I am not enough to meet the needs of this life.  I’m liberated.  I FEEL that freedom.  Those days of purposelessness are long gone.  Every minute I make available to Him, He uses for the astounding, the blessed, and the purposeful.

The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former; and in this house I will give peace.                                                                                                                                                   Haggai 2:9

For every great yesterday and for every painful yesteryear, what’s coming is always greater with Jesus.