God called me to be a Bible teacher about 12 years ago.  When I was younger, I’d thought I would teach on the college level, but not Bible…maybe history or business.  I was actually quite stunned at the command because I honestly didn’t see it coming.  

Over the years I have found I had much faulty thinking about what it means to teach God’s Word.  The one I have in mind today is this: preachers and teachers live on spiritual mountaintops, it’s how they always know what God wants them to say and how they deliver that word with passion and conviction.  

Not true.  It’s not at all true. But I have come to see that somewhere in me I must have long believed it was.  

Early on in my teaching I was spiritually ‘wound up’ I guess you might say, just euphoric that I could be used this way–and it’s exhilarating to finally do one of those things for which you discover you were made.  Until.  Until I was scheduled to teach and I was in a spiritual valley and the passion wasn’t thrilling and the connection wasn’t so tight and I felt far too far away to be able to ‘transmit’ with any degree of accuracy.  I felt too distant from the Lord to be able to hear Him clearly for myself, much less for those under my care.

The problem was that I did, in fact, have people under my care.  

It was in that moment that I discovered my inaccurate presumption: teachers aren’t always on the mountain. Nor are they called to be. Our lives are not lived on mountains and yet we’re called to commune daily with the Lord. There must be a way to be near even when He feels far away.

In subsequent years, I have found that some of the greatest lessons I have ever delivered have come when all I felt I had to give was my presence.  But I was willing to give that.

What I have discovered in this journey is a sad but glorious reality: I’m never in a good enough place to do God-size work.  When I ‘feel’ like I am, I’m probably less likely than all!  It truly is in weakness that great things begin to happen.

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.                                                                                                                                        2 Corinthians 12:10

I believe this may mistakenly be one of those lines where we think God was exaggerating to make a point.

All of this is something of a round about to say ‘hello again.’ I’ve been gone a while, but have been reminded of another particular call God has placed on me, and that is to write.  I have enjoyed both mountains and valleys in my absence.  All the while I have wondered if this particular venue was a part of the ‘call’ or just my delight.  (I’m not entirely certain there’s a difference.)  However, in my wondering, God has been so gracious yet again in revealing to me in a moment of deep humility of the soul that in this too He might like to show Himself mighty. So while I may at times have little more than my presence to offer, in His hands I’ll expect greatness of biblical resemblance.

There is no greater joy than to walk into a task feeling bereft, without even the most meager of anything to offer and finding it was just what He wanted.  To open your mouth without a thought in your head and find beauty on your tongue!  Just incredible.  

When you lack love yet find your heart moved to tears.  When you lack patience only to find hours have passed in the wait.  When you have no energy to finish the task but look up and see you’ve labored the whole night to see it through.  When we come to the end of ourselves, we find that’s where we should have started to begin with.

To God be all glory as we each offer the only thing He really wants:  hearts of surrender.